Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.—Ephesians 6:1-4
Today, the text opens with the unpopular word “obey.” Our sinful nature is self-serving, and from our earliest days, we resist being told what to do. Rather than argue about why it is necessary, the Bible says, “for it is right.” When children are young, positional authority is absolute, especially in the first eight years of life. Later, parents raise their children more by influence based on the relationship solidified in the early years—obedience shifts to honor.
Children are born with male and female core capacities that flow like a river with strong currents. While these critical characteristics can produce great virtue and strength, left unchecked, these currents can become destructive when they flow out of their banks. The parent’s role is to channel those attributes through the discipline and instruction of biblical truth.
Parents (specifically fathers) are counseled not to “provoke their children to anger.” In Colossians 3:21, fathers are likewise told not to “exasperate their children so they will not lose heart.” The danger is always present unless we are mindful of the hopes and dreams we might impose, our undealt with sins, and our personality quirks.
Today, the text opens with the unpopular word “obey.” Our sinful nature is self-serving, and from our earliest days, we resist being told what to do. Rather than argue about why it is necessary, the Bible says, “for it is right.” When children are young, positional authority is absolute, especially in the first eight years of life. Later, parents raise their children more by influence based on the relationship solidified in the early years—obedience shifts to honor.
Children are born with male and female core capacities that flow like a river with strong currents. While these critical characteristics can produce great virtue and strength, left unchecked, these currents can become destructive when they flow out of their banks. The parent’s role is to channel those attributes through the discipline and instruction of biblical truth.
Parents (specifically fathers) are counseled not to “provoke their children to anger.” In Colossians 3:21, fathers are likewise told not to “exasperate their children so they will not lose heart.” The danger is always present unless we are mindful of the hopes and dreams we might impose, our undealt with sins, and our personality quirks.
Discussion Questions
1. Ephesians 6:1 tells children to obey their parents. How does this concept of obedience change as children mature? At what point does absolute obedience become less critical, and why? What happens if obedience isn’t enforced?
2. The passage mentions “honor” alongside obedience. How does honoring your parents differ from obeying them?
3. The text focuses on children obeying their parents. What about situations where parents make choices that seem unwise? How can a maturing child navigate this tension – especially as the child becomes an adult?
4. How can parents avoid provoking their children to anger as they transition towards adulthood? If a child is angry, does that mean you have failed? How does Colossians 3:21 help us understand?
5. The passage speaks of “training” children. How does this approach to parenting differ as children become more independent and responsible for their own choices?
6. What are some healthy ways for parents to maintain influence as their children enter young adulthood?
7. Can you share an experience where you transitioned from needing to obey your parents to being guided by their influence? What made this shift successful or unsuccessful?
2. The passage mentions “honor” alongside obedience. How does honoring your parents differ from obeying them?
3. The text focuses on children obeying their parents. What about situations where parents make choices that seem unwise? How can a maturing child navigate this tension – especially as the child becomes an adult?
4. How can parents avoid provoking their children to anger as they transition towards adulthood? If a child is angry, does that mean you have failed? How does Colossians 3:21 help us understand?
5. The passage speaks of “training” children. How does this approach to parenting differ as children become more independent and responsible for their own choices?
6. What are some healthy ways for parents to maintain influence as their children enter young adulthood?
7. Can you share an experience where you transitioned from needing to obey your parents to being guided by their influence? What made this shift successful or unsuccessful?
Posted in Sermon Notes